Your Pelvic Floor Isn't Weak, It's Gripping for Dear Life
- Regan
- Nov 9
- 4 min read
If you’ve ever leaked when you sneezed, held your breath during stress, or clenched your glutes without realizing it, this is for you!
The Myth of the “Weak” Pelvic Floor
The pelvic floor wasn’t something I thought much about until I started teaching Pilates to moms. Over and over, I heard some version of the same phrase:
“I can’t jump anymore since I had kids.”
What they really meant was, “I pee myself a little.”
At first, I chalked it up to childbirth. The pelvic floor goes through trauma, of course, but what didn’t make sense to me was why it wouldn’t recover. Wouldn’t strengthening it solve the problem?
Like many people, I assumed the solution was kegels. Squeeze. Lift. Repeat.
But that’s when I realized I had pelvic floor dysfunction too.
And not because I had given birth. I was a ballerina.
I had spent years tightening and lifting, never learning how to let go.
A Muscle Is Only As Strong As It Can Relax
My core was always on. My pelvic floor was always engaged.
But no one ever taught me how to soften.
And here’s the truth that changed everything:
A muscle is only as strong as it can relax.
Without the ability to fully let go, there’s no true strength. Only gripping. Only fatigue.
It’s Not Just a Postpartum Issue
Most people think pelvic floor issues begin after having a baby. In reality, they often start much earlier.
Stress, posture, desk jobs, overtraining, shallow breathing — all of these lay the groundwork long before pregnancy.
Pregnancy just amplifies what was already there, and the demands of childbirth, recovery, and motherhood pile on top of an already dysfunctional system.
It’s Not Just About Strength. It’s About Balance.
Pelvic floor dysfunction isn’t always about weakness. More often, it’s a result of chronic tension, poor posture, and dysfunctional breathing.
Especially when paired with modern life’s usual suspects:
Thoracic tension from phones and computer work
Glute gripping from poor alignment or carrying a baby on one side
Shallow breathing from stress and slumped posture
Pelvic misalignment from heels, tucking under, or thrusting hips forward
Add in birth or even just the physical demands of modern life, and you’ve got a recipe for dysfunction.
How Breath Impacts the Pelvic Floor
The diaphragm and pelvic floor are connected through the deep core.
On an inhale, the diaphragm moves down and the pelvic floor should lengthen and soften.
On an exhale, the pelvic floor rebounds upward, like a gentle trampoline.
But if your ribs are stuck or your thoracic spine is tight, your breath can’t travel well.
And if you’re always holding your breath or breathing shallowly into your chest, the pelvic floor never gets its cue to move.
It stays braced, stuck, and overworked.
Dysfunction From the Top Down and the Bottom Up
I started noticing that moms were thrusting their hips forward or shifting their pelvis to one side while holding babies. To keep from tipping over, they’d grip their glutes. That gripping would pull into the pelvic floor from below.
At the same time, rib tension and collapsed breathing were pressing downward.
So the pelvic floor was being pulled tight from both ends.
No wonder it couldn’t soften. No wonder it wasn’t working.
The Coolest Part: You Can Fix It
You don’t have to live with leaking, heaviness, or pelvic pain.
You can reset your system at any point, whether you had a baby last month or never gave birth at all.
It starts with becoming aware of what’s actually happening in your pelvic floor, but the real solution is full-body. It’s about creating balance throughout your system, between mobility and strength, release and engagement, breath and posture.
That’s exactly what I teach inside my classes and programs on RMTV. From Align and Thrive to my Prenatal and Postnatal programs, every session is designed to help you restore that balance, reconnect to your core, and build lasting strength from the inside out.
A responsive pelvic floor isn’t one that’s always relaxed or always engaged — it’s one that adapts and supports you in movement, in stillness, and in life.
Chronic Stress and Gripping
When we’re stressed, we subconsciously grip.
We tighten our jaw, our shoulders, our abs, and yes, our pelvic floor.
If you never take time to pause, breathe deeply, and allow the pelvic floor to soften, it stays in that fight-or-flight state.
And long term, that leads to dysfunction.
This is why daily moments of release, even one good breath, matter so much.'
Pelvic Floor Habits You’ll Want to Break
Never grip your glutes or pelvic floor all day
Never push when you pee
Never pee “just in case”
Never pee standing in the shower
Always empty your bladder fully
Watch and Move With Me
Here are four tools to help you start resetting today:
Breath Reset Video — how to use breath to reconnect your diaphragm and pelvic floor
Side Body Release — open the ribs, free the breath, and create space for function
Glute Release with Pinky Ball — undo glute gripping and release pelvic floor tension
This is the correct pinky ball to purchase. I travel with it and use it on nearly every part of my body to release tension and restore balance
How to Engage the Pelvic Floor — understanding how to engage your pelvic floor is just as important as learning how to release it. This video breaks it down in a clear, simple way so you can begin to find that balance between strength and length
Final Thought
Whether you’re a mom, a dancer, a desk worker, or just someone who’s been told pelvic floor dysfunction is your new normal, it’s not.
You don’t have to live with leaking, tension, or pain.
And you’re never too late to begin.
Love,
Regan
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