I'm Fine, I've Got This

The beauty and weight of motherhood in a world that asks women to do it all

I think two things on repeat these days: you can’t have it all and you are so strong.

I have a studio in Chelsea and an online platform, and I’m passionate about helping people feel safe, functional, and strong in their bodies. I love what I do. I feel lucky that every day I get to witness change, the kind that comes not from perfection but from curiosity, consistency, and hard work.

And then, on top of it all, I brought a baby into this world

Pregnancy Is Harder Than We Admit

Pregnancy is a gift, yes, but it is also work, harder than I ever imagined. The exhaustion, the nausea, the relentless changes. We don’t give women enough credit for what it takes to grow a human. During those months, I kept working nine hour days, sometimes so tired I felt my eyes closing as I walked home.

What made it harder was the constant commentary. “You’re so small.” “You’re so big.” “Do you know caffeine isn’t good for the baby?” Later, as a mom: “You let her suck her fingers?” “You went back to work already?” “Your baby still isn’t sleeping through the night?” Judgment slips so easily off people’s tongues. Suddenly your choices, your body, your baby, your life feel like public property.

Motherhood Is Superwoman Work

Six months in, I can say this: I work harder caring for my daughter than I’ve ever worked at anything. I am present, engaged, and in awe of her, but also, some days I cannot remember if I put conditioner in or washed it out. My mind is so full I’ve developed a slight stutter and I sometimes wonder if other people can hear it. Nights with ten wake ups leave me whispering, How in the world am I still standing? And yet, I am.

It is superwoman work.

The Weight of “Me” Time

My husband always tells me to make more “me” time. The truth is, I try, but it’s hard. There is always so much to do. When I think about self-care, it often comes down to the things that feel imperative: cooking real meals, doing my breathwork, moving my body. Those are the things that keep me going.

But is getting my nails done really worth it? I find myself feeling guilty for leaving her or guilty for not using that time to get work done. It is like the guilt takes the fun out of doing fun things.

I wear an Oura ring and it tells me a lot about my body. Seeing my cardio health show up as seven years younger than my age feels great, but then I see how stressed I am most of the day and it shocks me. Am I even allowed to be restored, or does that make me a lazy mom? And because I am a working mom, I feel guilty not spending all my free time with her.

I went to get my nails done recently and worked the entire time, except when they offered me a massage. I put my phone down, closed my eyes, and in that short moment my stress levels dropped from the highest point on the chart to the lowest, the same calm I feel when I do breathwork at night. How do I make that happen more often for myself? Maybe it looks like more small pauses, maybe even breathwork with my baby on the mat beside me.

The Support Gap

I really wanted a doula for birth. But what I really needed was a postpartum doula, someone to care for me while I cared for her, especially once my husband went back to work. My husband was the most incredible birth partner and he continues to be an amazing dad and partner, taking care of our home and showing up for our family every single day. And even with all his support, it is still so hard.

The truth is, women are still expected to figure it all out on our own. We are told to breastfeed but not too long, to go back to work but not too soon, to ask for help but not rely on it. Even friends, before offering their own stories, often begin with, “please don’t judge.” That phrase says it all.

A System That Isn’t Built for Families

What makes it heavier is knowing this isn’t just personal, it is systemic. Childcare is unaffordable. Healthcare premiums climb, mine went up 30 percent just for having a baby, and she wasn’t even covered. Paid leave is minimal or nonexistent. My husband and I live far from family, but even if they were close, is it fair to ask them to carry the burden the system should help hold?

No wonder so many couples are waiting, or choosing not to have children. The United States is not a child friendly nation, yet somehow women are expected to carry the load, smile, and say we are fine.

The Mess and the Magic

Here’s the paradox. I am both drowning and in love with this new life. My daughter is better than anything I could have imagined. I love being her mom. But I have also never been so stretched, so depleted, so aware of how much more support we all deserve.

We need more than congratulations in the hospital. We need guidance on how to heal and move our bodies safely after birth. We need affordable childcare, real maternity and paternity leave, and communities that step in with meals, hands, and hearts.

Another reason I created my pre and postnatal program is to help women not only recover, but also withstand the physical toll of motherhood. Carrying babies, nursing, sleepless nights, endless lifting — it all takes a real toll on the body. Too many women live with constant neck and shoulder pain, weak or disconnected cores, and glutes that have switched off. It does not have to be this way. With the right tools, you can relieve pain, turn your core and glutes back on, and feel strong and supported in your body. That is what women deserve.

But my program is only one piece of the puzzle. Mothers need layers of support, physical and emotional, personal and systemic.

So I keep repeating: I’m fine, I’ve got this. Some days it is true, some days it is a cover. What I know for sure is this: women should not have to do it all alone. We deserve help. We deserve systems that make motherhood possible, not impossible.

Maybe I can do it all, but I should not have to.

If you are here too, in the beauty and the exhaustion of it all, please know this: you are doing great, mama. Your best is more than enough. Let me know what has helped you feel seen and supported, anything little or big. I know even the smallest shifts can have a huge impact.

With love,

Regan