What Is Self Care

Self care as connection, not escape, and how it changes the way you move through your life

As a society we applaud those who strive for more. We are taught to get good grades, play sports, win games, learn instruments, join clubs, get into a good college, and find a good job. Of course we all want the best, but what defines being our best?

When I think about my daughter and what I want for her, I want her to experience everything. Culture, art, sports, language, great teachers, friends, and mentors. I want her to succeed and feel proud of her accomplishments, but I also want her to have fun, to be grounded, to live life to the fullest, not the fastest. I want her to explore, to try many things, and to stay connected to what she loves.

I want to teach her about her body and what a gift it is. How to connect with it through breath and awareness. I want her to think deeply, to feel deeply, and to know what to do with those feelings. To find comfort in silence. To notice beauty in the mundane. To be brave and kind and to give herself grace.

I want to teach her what self care truly means. To treat her body and mind with love and compassion through her thoughts, choices, and actions. To nourish herself with real food, movement, and rest. To return to her body often and not live disconnected from it. To live in the real world and not the virtual one that pulls us away from presence and experience.

It has taken me years to understand what self care really is. For so long I thought I knew it. I had the movement piece down. It became my career. But the rest took time.

I learned that eating is not about deprivation or calories. It is about nourishment, feeding myself high quality food filled with minerals, vitamins, healthy fats, and proteins. I learned that movement should repair and connect, not punish. That the goal is awareness and ease, not exhaustion. And I learned that rest is not about numbing out on social media or zoning out to a show. It is listening to music, dancing, reading, journaling, or simply being still.

Self care is not an escape from yourself. It is the opposite. It is the practice of turning down the noise in your mind so you can actually hear yourself again.

Most of us live in constant conversation with our thoughts, not with ourselves. The internal narrator, the ego, is so loud that we forget to listen inward.

My ego was my toughest critic. It told me I was not good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, successful enough. But a few years ago I made a New Year’s resolution to be kinder to myself. And it stayed my resolution for three years.

I realized I would never speak to anyone else the way I spoke to myself. That truth hit hard. Now I try to laugh at myself instead of criticize. I try to offer grace. And through somatic work I have found my way back to me. I have uncovered “Regan” again, the one I buried under perfectionism and performance.

I learned she was never unworthy. She was just wounded, and brave. And she deserved love.

Now I work to feel, to listen, to connect. It has brought creativity and play back into my life. I appreciate my days instead of rushing through them.

What Self Care Looks Like In My Daily Life

Most of my self care lives in micro moments. It is not carved out on a calendar. It is woven into the rhythm of my day.

At home

• Listening to music in the morning to shift my energy

• Back breathing in bed every night to release tension and quiet my mind

• Stomach rolling in the morning to release tension so my muscles can awaken and show up for me

• Dry brushing my face and/or body before a shower or face wash to wake up my lymphatic system and energize my skin

• Rolling my feet on a ball when I get home while I talk to my husband

• Listening to an audiobook while I clean• Drinking a glass of water every hour

• Putting on a song that makes my heart sing and dancing to it in headphones with the volume up

• Journaling when I have big emotions, need to get something out of my head, or feel inspired

• Choosing kinder internal language and moving from “I have to” toward “I get to”

Out in the world

• Quick standing stretches while waiting for the elevator or at a light

• Twenty squats after meals to support blood sugar regulation and circulation

• Ordering a matcha when I am out and want a treat

• Turning small pauses into micro resets

• Using breath when I cannot change my environment but I can regulate from within

• Letting others inspire me, like my client who does breathwork during her infrared sauna time

• Reflexology sessions at Perry Street Reflexology because my nervous system melts the second I am there

• Acupuncture. Who knew I would cherish being poked with needles weekly — Elly at Meridian Acupuncture is a godsend for my nervous system and body

• A facial. I used to hate facials until I worked with Lisa at Feed Your Skin and now I walk out looking and feeling renewed in my skin and energy

These moments remind me that self care is not something I earn or have to schedule (outside of the few appointments with the expert practitioners who support my body and nervous system). It is something I am allowed to take in the same way I breathe, drink water, eat, or rest. It belongs in my day because I do.

✨ Join me

Take five minutes today to ask yourself, what fills my cup

Then do one small thing that answers it

I would love to know what that is for you. Share it with me and let it inspire someone else

With love,

Regan