The Real Reason Your Neck and Shoulders Hurt (and How to Fix It)
- Regan
- Nov 9
- 4 min read
From breath to posture, here’s how to reverse the tightness for good
I genuinely never had real tightness in my neck and shoulders until becoming a mom. Sure, it felt good when someone rubbed my upper traps, and they’d been tight before, but never that constant pulling across my upper back and into my neck.
Now, between nursing while I teach (often in less-than-ideal positions), constantly holding and rocking my baby, leaning over her to play, or having her nestled underneath me, I’ve developed the same tension so many of my clients have described.
While this posture pattern shows up in everyone, from desk workers to athletes, I see it in moms more than anyone, even decades after giving birth. The forward, rounded positions and repetitive carrying patterns are constant in mom life, and without intentional time to reverse them, the tension becomes a long-term fixture.
In this post, you’ll learn:
The real root cause of neck and shoulder tightness (hint: it’s not just “bad posture”)
How your breathing mechanics, core, and pelvic floor all tie into this pain
Why you should stop pulling your shoulders down your back and the better cue to use instead
The exact steps I use to reverse this tension in myself and my clients
Where It Really Starts: Your Breath
I know I sound like a broken record, but it all begins with breathing mechanics. You need to learn how to get your back and side ribs moving every time you breathe, otherwise you’ll never truly change the pattern.
When you lose the ability to breathe into your back and side ribs, you lose the full use of your diaphragm. That’s when your neck and shoulder muscles step in to lift your ribcage with every breath. Over time, they live in a low-grade contraction, always “on.”
It’s not just about tension either. Back breathing directly affects your core and pelvic floor.
When you inhale and expand into your back and side ribs, your diaphragm moves down, your abdominal wall responds, and your pelvic floor lengthens to match that movement.
When you exhale, your diaphragm lifts, your deep core muscles (including your transverse abdominis) naturally draw in, and your pelvic floor recoils upward.
This rhythmic pressure system is what keeps your core and pelvic floor functioning as a team.
When you lose back and side expansion, you lose this natural coordination. Your core and pelvic floor can’t respond as they should, and other muscles, often the ones in your neck and shoulders, take over to stabilize and help you breathe.
Why “Pull Your Shoulders Down” Is a Bad Cue
This is one of the most common posture tips I hear, and it often makes things worse.
When you “pull” your shoulders down, you usually recruit muscles that are already gripping, which just adds to the problem. It also locks your ribcage and shoulder blades in place, making it harder to breathe into your back and sides.
Instead, I like to think about broadening through the front of the armpits, shoulders relaxed away from the ears, and lengthening the spine through the center of the chest cavity and neck. This creates space, freedom, and better breathing without force.
What To Do About It
1. Restore back and side rib expansion
Lie on your back with knees bent (90-90 position) and breathe into your side ribs and low back ribs.
I really recommend doing back breathing over a pillow since breath follows the path of least resistance, having a pillow block the front body helps guide the air into the back body.
I have a video of this setup on Instagram and in my RMTV library.
2. Mobilize your mid-back
Try Open Book rotations or Thread-the-Needle to improve movement so your neck and shoulders don’t have to overcompensate.
Here’s a great rib rotation video that pairs perfectly with your back breathing.
3. Release the chest, strengthen the upper back
Roll out your pecs with a foam roller or ball to release the front of the chest.
Strengthen your mid and lower traps, serratus anterior, and rotator cuff so your shoulder blades are supported naturally. Here is a class walking you through it.
4. Think “space” instead of “pulling”
Broad armpits, relaxed shoulders, lengthened spine.
Posture should feel open and effortless, not clamped down.
How I Made It Work With No Time
I took my own advice and made time every night and little sprinkles throughout the day to make a real change. I genuinely had negative amounts of time with a newborn and teaching, but I committed to these small, doable practices:
Every night: Back breathing in bed with pillows under my stomach for 10 breaths (forewarning, you might pass out before breath 10 and drift right to sleep) and rolling out my pecs.
Every morning: Hypopressive breaths and spine mobilizations.
Every afternoon: Chest openers with rotation and upper back strengtheners.
It’s not “perfect,” it’s not a 30-minute class, but it worked. These are also a big part of steps 1 and 2 in my postpartum program because they reverse the tension of daily life and help get your core and pelvic floor to start working together again.
Why I Value GYROTONIC® for This
One of the reasons I’ve stayed so passionate about teaching GYROTONIC® is because it naturally combines all of these elements, breathing, rib mobility, spinal movement, and functional strength, in one fluid system. It restores space in the joints, re-educates the breath, and strengthens the body without compressing it. For neck and shoulder tension especially, it’s one of the most effective, lasting solutions I’ve ever used.
If you’re dealing with this kind of pain, start small. Breathe into your back and sides everyday. Release the chest. Strengthen the upper back. Think space, not pulling. And remember, change is possible.
With love,
Regan
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