The Breath That Brought Me Back
- Regan
- Sep 7
- 3 min read
I think I held my breath for most of my life.
Not in the obvious way, but in the way you brace yourself for the world without realizing it — shoulders tight, belly locked, ribs frozen. A quiet tension I wore like armor. It created a cycle of anxiety I couldn’t name at the time, but now I know: I simply didn’t know how to breathe.
When I was 12, I was in a Pilates session and my teacher looked at me and said, “Wow… you really don’t know how to breathe.” She handed me a pinwheel and had me practice. I laughed, but it stayed with me.
Then, at 26, after deep trauma and relentless stress, a chiropractor sat with me for over an hour. She looked me in the eye and said:
“If you don’t start breath work and restorative movement, your body is going to get really sick.”
That moment cracked something open. It wasn’t fear — it was clarity. I took it to heart. And from that moment on, my healing began.
I got curious. I started learning how breath actually works. How inhaling through the nose, with my tongue resting at the roof of my mouth, helps filter the air and guide it deeper into the lungs. I began to feel my diaphragm drop like a jellyfish gliding downward, widening through my low belly and side waist. My ribs no longer just flared forward. They began to expand out, back, and sideways. I could feel the intercostal muscles between each rib gently stretch and soften, creating space for my lungs to actually do their job. For the first time, my breath wasn’t trapped in my chest. It moved through me, deep, full, and whole.
And when I let the exhales pour out, slow and unforced, it was like a release valve. A message to my body: you’re safe now.
That safety didn’t just bring emotional ease. It began healing my body and mind from the inside out. I discovered the book Breath by James Nestor, and it expanded everything I thought I knew. I learned how mouth breathing can actually shrink your airway and increase anxiety, how overbreathing can disrupt oxygen delivery to the brain, and how short, shallow inhales reinforce stress. But I also learned how slowing the breath, breathing through the nose, and extending the exhale can improve everything from digestion to posture to mood. Breath wasn’t just something I did. It became a tool to rebuild myself.
I used to live in the extremes: performance, perfection, pressure. I knew how to push, how to endure, how to hold it in. But I didn’t know how to soften. I didn’t know how to come down. I didn’t know how to let myself feel safe in stillness.
Breath changed that.
It didn’t fix everything overnight, but it gave me something. A moment. A pause. A thread back to myself.
A Grounding Breath Practice
This is one of the simplest, most powerful tools I use when I feel disconnected, anxious, or tense.
Alternate Nostril Breathing
A calming practice that balances both sides of the brain and resets your system. It promotes nose breathing, elongates the exhale, and brings clarity and calm.
Instructions:
1. Sit tall so you have space to breathe.
2. Place your right thumb over your right nostril and inhale through your left nostril.
3. Close the left nostril with your ring finger, release your thumb, and exhale through the right nostril.
4. Inhale through the right nostril.
5. Close the right nostril, release the left, and exhale through the left nostril.
6. That’s one round. Repeat for 4–6 rounds or until you feel centered.
Follow along with me here:
It’s simple, grounding, and a beautiful way to return to yourself, especially in moments of stress or overwhelm.
Breath was the beginning of my healing.
It taught me to listen to my body in a new way.
To soften. To slow down. To feel safe again.
Sometimes I feel sadness for the years I didn’t know how to do this — the years I spent locked in a cycle of anxiety, always bracing. But mostly, I feel gratitude. Because now I have this tool. And I get to share it with you.
Here’s to the inhale.
Here’s to the exhale.
Here’s to coming home, one breath at a time.
With love,
Regan
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